So…this clip may not be what you think of when you think of marriage but I think that “the Impressive Clergyman” as he is titled in the credits of the movie Princess Bride does a pretty good, yet brief, job of describing marriage. And he makes you laugh in the process.
I have learned so much about what it looks like to be a husband in the last two months and my goal is to continue to learn and grow for the rest of my life with Chloé. I am so blessed to have the best wife in the entire world and below I just wrote some of the things I learned from studying.
Marriage is one of the most beautiful and amazing things that God created and has blessed humanity with. However, a large amount of marriages today are not the way that God intended. A Biblical marriage is a covenant relationship that is not intended to be broken and the Bible clearly states that a person is not allowed to get out of marriage unless one of the partners commits sexual immorality. The Bible also calls Christians to be equally yoked, or have the same beliefs, as the person that they marry. A few other things that the Bible tells Christians about marriage is that all people are not called to marriage but those who are must love and respect their husband or wife. The husband is to be the head and spiritual leader of the household. The Bible also says that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. Now that the Biblical expectations for marriage have been talked about it is time to look at some actual marriages in the Bible and discuss new things that I learned about marriage this week.
The first marriage that will be discussed is the very first marriage in the Bible and is when God actually established the covenant relationship of marriage. It was between Adam and Eve. The Lord saw that is was not good for man to be alone so he created Eve out of Adam’s flesh. The negatives of this marriage are easy to pick out because they lead to the fall of man and entrance of sin into the world. Eve does not listen to God and eats of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and Adam decides to have a bite as well knowing that the Lord said do not eat it. This leads to sin and banishment from Eden. The one positive that I gleam from this marriage is that God obviously saw that it was a bad thing for Adam to not have a partner therefore he created Eve. The second marriage that will be talked about is between Abraham and Sarah. The positive of the relationship are that both Abraham and Sarah are extremely faithful to the Lord and to one another. Abraham did what the Lord told him and Sarah never complains about it. The negative that will be pointed out is that twice Abraham told people that Sarah was his sister in an effort to keep himself safe when the Lord would have protected him and his wife. The final marriage that will be talked about is between David and Bathsheba. David was completely captivated by Bathsheba’s beauty and he coveted after her even though she had a husband. He took her for his own and then had the husband murdered. From these marriages a person can learn a large amount of things that are both good and bad about marriage. I have learned to be faithful to the Lord and what he commands and to be faithful to my spouse. I have also learned that I should both serve and love my spouse more daily.
There are several things that I learned about marriage that I did not know before we talked about it in class this week. The first thing is that I learned this week is that asking questions and being more open with my spouse our communication skills will improve. The second thing that I learned is that both my spouse and I truly enjoyed the way that our parents raised us and we have much to talk about when we decide how to raise our family. The third thing that I learned this week is that Chloé and I need to set both long and short-term goals that set us up for success. The fourth thing that I learned was the fear dance. The fear dance is extremely helpful because by knowing how Chloé and I push each others buttons then react we will be able to recognize and defuse a possibly negative situation. The final thing that I learned this week was both Chloé’s and my love languages. I learned that Chloé is physical touch, quality time, and acts of service. I learned that my love languages are quality time, acts of service, and physical touch.
This week was extremely helpful in helping me understand my role as a husband better and attempting to be a better husband. It was also great to reinforce that marriage is a covenant relationship and that God takes marriage seriously. Finally I loved learning more things about my wife and things such as the fear dance and our love languages that I can apply to my marriage.
Keith Chancey’s class lecture on marriage
Chad Hampsch’s class lecture on marriage
Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages”